


Maki Harukawa's Black Friday Shenanigans

by TeruTeruObliterator11037



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Crack, Gen, More tags to be added, mild mentions of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 14:39:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12819705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeruTeruObliterator11037/pseuds/TeruTeruObliterator11037
Summary: Maki goes Black Friday Shopping, and meets some friends (or enemies) in unexpected places!





	Maki Harukawa's Black Friday Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> Hola! Holy guacamole I didn't expect to miss both Halloween and Thanksgiving fics! And this one is late! Ah rats I'm sorry y'all. My schedule only has so much busy time left, so I'm excited to continue writing when I have time! I hope that you enjoy!

aveddate is november 24rd in the year of our Lord two thousand and seventeen

maki harukawa  is packing her satchel with knives, crossbows, rocks, poison darts, hydraulic presses, shotput balls, piranhas, toilet paper,

yknow things that

kill people,

 

 

-not referring to anyone in specific but-

 

momota walked up behind her and siad, "HEY HARUMAKI WUSS POPPIN B"

"if you keep talking like that itll be your eyes"

 

"YIKES BUT WHAT I MEAN IS THAT ARE YOU GOING TO KILL SOMEONE

BECAUSE YOU KINDA LOOK LIKE YOURE GOING TO

GIRLS SHOULDNT MURDER PEOPLE"

"i will hurt you"

 

"IM CALLING CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES"

"thats not how this works"

_**"WELL IM A CHILD AND I REQUIRE PROTECTIVE SERVICES"** _

 

 

".....elaborate"

"WHAT IM SAYING IS DONT KILL ANYONE"

"bruh chill im just going to macy's"

momota squinted his 2.5 eyes (he got alien germs after goign to space)

"WOT"

**_"i m g o i n g t o m a c y s y o u p u r p l e s c u m"_ **

"Y THO" 

"black friday my guy"

"BUT YESTERDAY WAS THANKSGIVING"

"first, thats how it works. also, how have you  lived on this planet for your whole life yet still can not comprehend that thanksgiving is not celebreated in japan"

"MMMMTM EHH WRONG

Labor  **Thanksgiving**  Day. Labor  **Thanksgiving**  Day (勤労感謝の日 Kinrō Kansha no Hi) is a national  **holiday**  in  **Japan**  which takes place annually on November 23. The law establishing the  **holiday**  cites as an occasion for commemorating labor and production and giving one another thanks."

"our marriage is falling apart, momota."

//////

 

 

 

uh anyways

 

maki arrives at the macys

 

chaos, as expected. 

but maki knew what to do

 

did she?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yes

 

maki jumped over a bunch of peoples heads, searching for her beloved aisle 6.

 

the knife aisle

 

"mmm mm love me some Cuisinart" she said, picking up a box of knives

"these will work nicely in my collection'

 

suddenly, a hand reached over and grabbed hte box away from her

twas

 

guess 

just guess

 

 

 

 

twas ouma

 

 

 

"

:)

 

 

"mmmm harukawa chan watch youself" he said, admirng the knife set

she,,,slapped him with her bigol tentacle hairs

"i need those more than you do,,,,,,,baka"

"for what, killign peolpe?? sorry knaifu waifu, cant do that"

"what do  **you**  need them for? playing stabby knife games so you can spend more Free Time Events with saihara?? "

silence

"oof that hurts harukawa chan,

and what i do with these knives is none of your business "

"it kinda is because those are my knives, 90% off, you hecking donkey"

'just because you are passionate about cutlery doesnt mean that you can quote censored  gordon ramsay"

"i will anihilate you, and if you dare touch that rachel ray cookbook so help me"

"of course you would, 

s u p e r h i g h s c h o o l l e v e l b l a c k f r i d a y s h o p p e r ? "

" **rrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR** "

 

suddenly, there was silens

then a voice increased in volume by a megaphone ricocheted through the department store

it was kaede, blessed aura and all

"Black friday is cancelled. Let's have a team picnic and get to know one another! Also, don't touch that piano, Brenda. That's mine."

everyone continued to fight

kaede spoke again, yelling this time, 

"LISTEN UP YOU GOONS I CAME HERE AT 2 AM TO MANAGE CONFLICT AND THATS WHAT IM FINNA DO

I HAVE BEEN AWAKE FOR ALL OF THIS TIME ON NOTHING BUT HALF OF A PIZZA LUNCHABLE

SO EVERYONE JUST DO WHAT I TELL YOU ITS FOR YOU OWN GOOD

ALSO BRENDA DO  **NOT** TOUCH THAT PIANO I SWEAR IF YOU DO I WILL KILL YOUR FAMILY"

 

brenda looked up, in tears, and took off her wig and makeup,

underneath it all, she was a blue haired gilr who we all kno so well

 

tsumugi

'kaede.... i was buying this as a christmas gift...for yuo."

"Holy guacamole you didn;t have to!! You risked your own safety for this!! That was risky but thank you!!:"

 

 

everyone was so charmed that they all really did have that picnic, and maki got her knives, and ouma had to stick with the plastic stuff. and maki and momotas marriage was saved

the end

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! As always, questions, comments, and concerns are always welcome. Have a great day!!


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